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Episode Two: “The Lonesome Pigeon”

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Don Burhts is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or

February 3, 2010 | 1940 views | 5 comments

The Clegg brothers, Calvin, Clem, Jake, and Wade, were lowering Mr. Baker’s coffin into the ground. The four brothers were among the dumbest individuals ever to take a breath on God’s earth. They had never completed an undertaking of any kind that didn’t end in disaster. There was the time the four were hauling a load of dry goods for Mr. Owens and decided to take a short cut across the river rather than travel the extra mile to the low water crossing. Horses can swim alright, but not when they’re strapped to a two-ton wagon-load of dry goods that was sinking in twenty feet of water. Mr. Owens claimed those were the best team of horses he’d ever owned.

Thank goodness everyone had left the grave site when the brothers began lowering the coffin into the ground. At the head end of the coffin were Calvin and Jake. Wade and Clem were at the foot end of the coffin. The four had lowered the coffin rope by about a foot when Wade shouted,

“My hands are hurting! I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to hold on much longer!”

Calvin wasn’t the quickest thinker in the bunch, but he was good hearted and always willing to lend a hand. With the intention of helping Wade at the other end of the coffin, Calvin let loose his rope, letting the head of the coffin freefall, landing at a forty-five degree angle with the foot end of the coffin within one foot of the surface. The coffin broke in two. Mr. Baker’s body broke through the bottom of the coffin and was lying huddled up in a ball at one end of the hole. The four looked at each other then looked around and realized no one else saw what happened. They quickly grabbed their shovels and filled in the hole, leaving Mr. Baker’s body huddled up in a ball for eternity.

Fred was comforting Amy when there was a knock at the door. Fred opened the door and found Sheriff James standing on the porch.

“What brings you here sheriff?”

Sheriff James was an overweight man with a pear shaped body. It’s not likely that any other town would have a sheriff such as James. Lonesome Pigeon wouldn’t have James as sheriff if not for mayor Carter appointing him.

“Fred, people are talking,” said Sheriff James.

“Bout what Sheriff?” Fred knew quite well why everyone was getting itchy. Fred was worried about it himself.

Sheriff James asked Fred,

“When are you gonna open the bank for business. It’s been three days passed since that Mr. Baker was killed. People want to get what’s left of their money out of the bank. With the robbery people think the bank is broke. I for one have near fifty dollars deposited in that and I want my fifty dollars.”

Fred said,

“I was going over the books last night sheriff and you have six dollars and ten cents in your account.”

The sheriff sputtered before saying,

“Well I did say close to fifty dollars. I want my six dollars and ten cents and the rest of the town wants their money. I’ll be there tomorrow to see that they get it or else put you in jail where you belong.”

Without saying another word, the sheriff climbed on his horse and rode away.

Fred knew all hope was lost but then right out of the blue, it came to him. He had one last chance, but he would have to wait for darkness. .........Continued.
« Previous Blog Entry (January 25, 2010)

Your Opinions and Comments
La Vernia  
February 5, 2010 10:06pm
Can't wait to see....continue next story...(giggle)
This is really good. Like a TV series.
Ken Semlinger  
Poth, TX  
February 3, 2010 10:17pm
The last I heard Congressman Baker had introduced a bill to regulate coffin manufacturers. And raise their taxes of course. And cut executive bonus.
Ken Semlinger  
Poth, TX  
February 3, 2010 10:04pm
They did indeed dig Baker up. He is now a Democratic Congressman.
Judy Edgington  
February 3, 2010 7:42pm
Are they going to dig up Mr. Baker? Roger
Judy Edgington  
February 3, 2010 7:41pm
You never cease to amaze me. Do you have the whole story written or are you making it up as you go? What's next? Do we have to wait a week to hear more?

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