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I Was Just Thinking...

Christmas Alone

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Lois Wauson is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or wilsoncountynews.com.

December 21, 2010 | 1,665 views | 3 comments

I walked outside tonight, after it was dark, and looked up in the sky at the new crescent moon, and the evening star (Venus?) shining brightly close by. The night air brought a chill to me, and I shivered and hugged my arms close around me, and thought of all my family far away. Friday nights are usually the loneliest night of the week for me. When I was younger Friday night was the night we always went to a football game in the fall, or out to dinner (the only time of the week we could afford to eat out). Nowadays people seem to spend their money to go out to eat every other day of the week. In the “olden days” that was a special time!

The solar lights along the driveway and sidewalk glowed in the dark, and our house looked lovely and warm and inviting with the glow of the lamp in the window. But in this town people are very busy with their own families especially during this holiday season. I don't feel exactly depressed, or sad, just nostalgic, remembering all the wonderful Christmases in the past. I am glad I have those memories.

I decided to go in and get the little wire Christmas tree with tiny lights on it. My daughter Kristi bought it somewhere at a yard sale or antique store years ago, and somehow I wound up with it. I love it. I set it on the front porch every year, and the little tree with the tiny lights beckon me as I drive down the street at night or, walk out in the driveway and look back at the house. I don't know - it makes me feel comforted somehow. It looks sort of lonely out there, but I think that tree reminds me of me.

My sweet granddaughter Miranda is coming tomorrow from Austin to spend the weekend. I am so happy. She said she plans on cooking dinner tomorrow night for us!

She is going to tell us all about her trip to Bolivia. I can't wait to hear about it. I feel so blessed because my grandchildren come to see me, even though they live far away, and they don't have to have a reason, they just come because they want to see me! But they don’t come often enough. We live in busy times. When they do come we visit and talk and share and they know they can talk to me about everything.

Maybe Miranda will help me get out some Christmas decorations and fix the house pretty for Christmas. But I always think why do that, when no one comes to see us, and we will be the only ones to enjoy it? Hmm, maybe that's okay...I light candles every night because they make me feel warm and I can pretend it is a fireplace...I miss our fireplace in Hurst, Eddie loved that fireplace, and we always had a fire in the winter time...and he started the fire in the fireplace the first cold front that came in - back in 1968. A fire in the fireplace always reminds me of him, and I feel nostalgic and smile. Just like when Michael had a fire at Thanksgiving at their house last month.... I loved that.

Well, I made lots of oatmeal, raisin cookies with pecans today. So I have lots of cookies and hot chocolate, in case we have company.... I can dream can't I?

Maybe the carolers from our church will come by! Wouldn't that be great...I can dream can't I? ... I was always good at day dreaming...without day dreams my life would have been sort of dreary some of those hard days growing up on the farm..but, as my heart specialist said this week, when I went to him for a check up.... stress is the main reason people have heart attacks...and I am doing so well, my heart is excellent, my blood pressure is good (he is even taking me off of one of the blood pressure meds). I don't have to go back for six months.

I told him I could not understand why I had that heart attack in 1998, because I was active, not overweight, ate right, athletic, and healthy...he said it was because I was probably going through a lot of stress then, and when I thought back about those years, during the 90's, what my family was going through, Eddie included.... and told him, he was amazed! So now that is good that my life is so slow and uneventful, and he laughed when I told him “I am driving in the slow lane now”. He said, that is a good way to put it ... and he said for me to keep driving in the slow lane.

I think I will make a cup of hot chocolate and eat some oatmeal cookies and watch a Christmas movie as Julie sleeps in her lounge chair.

Feliz Navidad!
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Your Opinions and Comments

Lois Wauson  
Floresville, TX  
December 29, 2010 8:45am
It's nice to have people write responding my blog! Thank you Elaine for making it possible for me to write. And whoever you are, 4th Gen, you are a good writer and as you wrote about your mother and Christmas, I could see her ... More ›

4 th Generation Texan  
Sutherland Springs  
December 23, 2010 7:15pm
Dear Ms. Wauson, Merry Christmas!!...That chocolate and oatmeal cookies sound delicious...two of my favorites. I suppose the thing that I miss most about Christmas over the last few years is Mama and all the Christmas Day hubbub. ... More ›

Elaine K.  
December 21, 2010 10:22am
So nice, Lois. THX for sharing! :)

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