Sunday, August 2, 2015
1012 C Street  •  Floresville, TX 78114  •  Phone: 830-216-4519  •  Fax: 830-393-3219  • 

WCN Site Search


Lost & Found

Lost Bull registered Black Angus last seen Eagle Creek, Oakfields area, south of 775 July 20th. 214 freeze branded left hip & tattooed in ears. Green eartag.Larry Smith 210 557-9201
Found: Charm with picture of couple, at Pecan Park, July 17. Call to identify and pick up, 830-393-6785.

VideoLost: Heifer, near 1303 and Country View Land, went missing on June 24, reward! 210-838-0667.
More Lost & Found ads ›

Help Wanted

The Floresville Independent School District is accepting applications for District Wide Custodian Positions, 2:00 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. shift. Applications may be obtained online at www.fisd.us or contact Sylvia Campa at 830-393-5300 ext. 14002 for appointments. FISD Personnel Office is located at 1200 5th St., Floresville, Texas. 830-393-5300 (Office hours: 8:00-4:00). Applications will be accepted until all positions are filled. An Equal Opportunity Employer.
Himmel Home Health is hiring RN / LVN to conduct private duty nursing and skilled nursing visits w/children ages birth to 20. Elmendorf area: Sat & Sun 7am-7pm;7pm-7am. Sign-on bonus! Texas Board of Nursing license required. Send resume to careers@himmelhomehealth.com.
More Help Wanted ads ›

Featured Videos





Video Vault ›
Richardson Chevrolet homeTNMCRE/MAX home

Movie Reviews


The Three Musketeers


The Three Musketeers


E-Mail this Story to a Friend
Print this Story
Neil Pond
November 9, 2011
1,723 views
Post a comment

Starring Milla Jovovich, Logan Lerman, Matthew Macfadyen & Ray Stevenson. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

PG-13, 110 min.



What do Mickey Mouse, Charlie Sheen, Gene Kelly, and Barbie have in common?

They’ve all been featured in movies based on “The Three Muskeeteers,” Alexandre Dumas’ enduring 1844 yarn of “one for all, all for one” French swordsmen on an international mission requiring both heroism and heart. A rousing tale that resonates throughout the ages, it’s been adapted into more than 30 different film versions over the past 100 years.

And, well, here’s the latest one.

This new cinematic riff keeps the novel’s 17th century setting and premise but juices up the requisite swordplay with a ridiculous sideline about flying warship dirigibles, which eventually end up as a warships-kabob impaled on a cathedral spire.

“I hate air travel!” notes one character, puking into the clouds.

That line is but one example of the movie’s feeble stabs at what passes for humor in the clunky, overly contrived script delivered by mostly unfamiliar, mostly European actors with British accents scampering around in fluffy “period” costumes on enormous, palatial sets and reacting to all sorts of computer-generated mayhem.

Moviegoers will spot a couple of familiar faces. Oscar winner Cristoph Waltz is the duplicitous Cardinal Richelieu, and former model Milla Jovovich plays Milady de Winter, a double-crossing superspy with a few tricks up her flounced petticoat.

Jovovich looks voluptuous in a torso-squeezing bustier, and director Paul W.S. Anderson (also her husband, how about that!) creates more than one opportunity for her to jiggle in slow-mo, cartoonishly acrobatic espionage sequences. Seeing the way Milady outfoxes and outmaneuvers all sorts of booby-traps, you can only surmise her character must have access to a Renaissance invention that somehow plays “Matrix,” “Mission: Impossible” and “Kill Bill” DVDs.

The rest of the actors seem to have been cast for their resemblance to other, better-known stars who all had the good sense to steer clear. One bears a passing resemblance to Robert Downey Jr. Another favors Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson, if Rock was a bit smaller and sported a bejeweled eye patch.

And over there--that guy could pass for Orlando Bloom in a poofy pompadour wig as the power-hungry Duke of Buckingham. Wait a minute... that IS Orlando Bloom in a poofy pompadour wig as the power-hungry Duke of Buckingham! How’d he end up here? Maybe he was jonesing for some “Pirates of the Caribbean” action after deciding to exit that successful franchise before the fourth movie set sail.

Bloom, and the rest of the actors, however, should have remained dry-docked instead of shipping out on this big, bloated Three Muske-mess, which, unfortunately, is primed for a sequel next year.

All for one, one for all---but no second helping for me, thanks.
 

Your Opinions and Comments


Be the first to comment on this story!


You must be logged in to post a comment.




Not a subscriber?
Subscriber, but no password?
Forgot password?

Movie Reviews Archives


Sherwood Surveying
Agave Dental
John D. Foster home
DDS Dentures & Dental Services Right-side banner
Edward Jones-Prescott Katie Prescott
Diva Nails & Spa
Pat Brown Realtors, Inc. home
WCN Citizens Forum 5/28/15
Hoelschers home
WCN web hosting
Caraway Ford
Abrego Lake
Hammerfest
auto chooserTriple R DC ExpertsHeavenly Touch homeAllstate & McBride RealtyVoncille Bielefeld homeDrama Kids

  Copyright © 2007-2015 Wilson County News. All rights reserved. Web development by Drewa Designs.