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VideoLost: Black and white long haired cat, missing since May 17, from the Vintage Oaks Subdivision. If found call 210-288-3033.

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Angell Enterprises is seeking a full-time Account/Bookkeeper to handle our accounting department, must pass background investigation, QuickBooks experience is a must, start pay is based on work experience. No phone calls, please apply in person and bring a resume with references or mail your resume with references to 2301 Tenth St., Floresville, Texas 78114.
Native Oilfield Services is seeking CDL Class A drivers to work in Western Oklahoma and South Texas. All applicants must be 25 years old, have at least 2 years verifiable CDL experience, no major moving violations or accidents, no DWI or felony convictions in the last 10 years. We provide paid orientation and pneumatic trailer operation training as well as medical, dental, vision, and life insurance. Call 817-783-3636 or 830-426-3220.
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Movie Reviews


Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part I


Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part I


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Neil Pond
American Profile
December 7, 2011
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Starring Kristen Stewart,

Robert Pattinson & Taylor Lautner

Directed by Bill Condon

113 min., PG-13



In the forth movie based on the wildly popular teen-romance sci-fi novel series by Stephanie Meyer, it’s wedding time for flesh-and-blood Bella (Kristen Stewart) and her vampire beau Edward (Robert Pattinson).

The third side of this supernatural love triangle, shape-shifting wolf-boy hunk Jacob (Taylor Lautner), may be the odd man out, but his unrequited affection for Bella won’t let him just stand on the sidelines.

How you feel about “Breaking Dawn” will probably align pretty closely with your general feelings about the “Twilight” books and previous movies. If you buy into the premise---antagonistic clans of morose vampires and broody werewolves, and the virginal young maiden who becomes caught between them---you’ll probably swoon right along, no questions asked.

If, on the other hand, “Twilight” isn’t really your cup of tea, you’re advised to skip this steamy mug of hot and heaving inter-species love, lest you find yourself hopelessly adrift in the murky details of the fourth movie’s obsession: what happens on a vampire’s wedding night.

Hint: Bella ends up with a baby bump. But what, exactly, might be growing inside her is cause for concern all around...

The acting is wooden, the special effects clunky, the dull stabs at humor lame. And for a movie about life-sucking vampires and flesh-ripping werewolves, there sure is an inordinate focus on the birds and the bees.

With all the melodramatic hubbub about vampire sex, vampire gestation and, ultimately, vampire OB-GYN, “Breaking Dawn” is, like its predecessors, surprisingly un-graphic---until it arrives at probably the grossest, most bloodily disturbing emergency vampire C-section that could ever be portrayed in a PG-13 movie.

And can you really have a right-to-life conversation about a fetus that may be half undead to begin with?

On several occasions, the movie takes itself so seriously it seems to be flirting with self-parody. Characters spout portentous, ridiculous-sounding lines. The vampires zip around in blurry, crazy-fast jolts that seem like silent-movie zaniness. None of Bella’s human friends appear to notice that her finance’s a stone-cold freak. And one scene, a snarly argument between growly, computer-generated wolves, is pure, prime-cut camp.

None of this, of course, will deter “Twilight” fans, the legions of females who’ll likely lap up every monster-mush moment, savor every coo and cuddle, and gasp in tingly awe of Lautner’s shirt-free abs, now a staple of the franchise.

I’m positive there’d be long lines of starry-eyed young women waiting to buy what could have easily been this shopping season’s hottest movie tie-in, if only it were available. I’ll bet somebody in the “Twilight” marketing department is kicking themselves right now that they didn’t get a Vampire Home Pregnancy Test on the shelves in time for Christmas.

--Neil Pond, American Profile
 

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