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1012 C Street  •  Floresville, TX 78114  •  Phone: 830-216-4519  •  Fax: 830-393-3219  • 

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Lost & Found

Lost: Chihuahua, black, tan, and white male, "Spy," very small, off F.M. 775, across from the Woodlands on Sept. 26, he is missed dearly. Call 830-391-5055.

VideoLost/stolen: Shih Tzu named Newton, last seen Sept. 29, from outside our house located by Emmy's. If any information call 830-660-8121 or 830-660-9222.
Found: Pony. Call to describe, 830-391-0074.
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Help Wanted

Henry Howard Services is accepting applications for QUALIFIED and EXPERIENCED vacuum, end dump and winch truck drivers. Applicants must have a class A CDL with tanker endorsement. Hazmat endorsement preferred but not required. Call 830-569-8144 for more information or pick up an application at 980 Humble Camp Rd, Pleasanton, Texas 78064. 
Warning: While most advertisers are reputable, some are not. Unfortunately the Wilson County News cannot guarantee the products or services of those who buy advertising space in our pages. We urge our readers to use great care, and when in doubt, contact the San Antonio Better Business Bureau, 210-828-9441, BEFORE spending money. If you feel you have been the victim of fraud, contact the Consumer Protection Office of the Attorney General in Austin, 512-463-2070.
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South Texas Living

My Funny Valentine unique gift for that special someone

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February 8, 2012 | 2,429 views | Post a comment

Looking for that perfect something to let your Valentine know you’re thinking of him or her, but not thinking along the traditional lines of chocolates or flowers? Perhaps My Funny Valentine: America’s Most Hilarious Writers Take On Love, Romance, and Other Complications is just what you seek.

The witty collection includes “Husbandology” by Robert G. Ferrell of Medina Lake, a self-confessed “old-school hacker and computer security guru who’s also tried his hand at being a musician, enologist, analytical chemist, ornithologist, colorectal cancer researcher, ... editor, security guard, wedding photographer, ... one-man IT department, calligrapher, bookbinder, iconographer, fontographer, mural artist, stone mason, goat wrangler, and recording engineer.”

In “Husbandology,” Fer-rell outlines some simple tactics for keeping wives happy, such as the response to the question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Ferrell says this “is the probe for a husband’s Honesty Calibration. ... In other words, when you say, ‘no,’ she will hear, ‘no, not that dress.’ The only relatively non-toxic response to this question that I’ve run across is, ‘no dress could make you look fat, dear.’”

Dorothy Rosby’s “Val-entine Verses” includes this: “Oh, baby, you’re hot. But I’m freezing! Touch that thermostat again and I’ll trade you in for an electric blanket.” Linton Robinson debunks some popular phrases about love. “For openers, it’s widely stated that all’s fair in love and war. Not so. Let’s examine this one in specific detail. Poison Gas: unfair in both, although perfume is generally excepted.”

My Funny Valentine, Bäuu Press, edited by Linton Robinson and Karla Telega, is available for $9.95 plus tax from the Wilson County News, 1012 C St. in Floresville, and the La Vernia News, 112 E. Chihuahua St. in La Vernia.

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