Friday, February 12, 2016
1012 C Street  •  Floresville, TX 78114  •  Phone: 830-216-4519  •  Fax: 830-393-3219  • 

WCN Site Search


Preview the Paper Preview the Paper

Preview this week's Paper
A limited number of pages are displayed in this preview.
Preview this Week’s Issue ›
Subscribe Today ›

Lost & Found

Lost: Female German Shepherd, about 2 years old, pink collar, lost from Hickory Hill/Great Oaks Subdivisions off FM 539, La Vernia, on Thurs., Feb. 4. Reward! 830-947-3465.
Found: Basset Hound, Hwy. 97 W./Hospital Blvd., Floresville. Call 830-391-2153 between 9 a.m.-11:30 p.m.
Bear, please come home! Missing since October 22, 2014, black Manx cat (no tail), shy. Reward! Help him find his way home. 210-635-7560.
More Lost & Found ads ›

Help Wanted

Seeking a residential housekeeper, duties include cleaning, laundry, and ironing. For more information, call 956-286-6709.
Experienced Heavy Equipment CDL driver, Class A with air brake endorsements, $18+ depending on experience, must have a clean driving record and must pass background and drug/alcohol test. Email resume to teika@oscenergy.com.
More Help Wanted ads ›

Featured Videos





Video Vault ›
RE/MAX homeRichardson Chevrolet homeTNMC
You’ve been granted free access to this subscribers only article.

Section A: General News


Editorial: Political season produces a host of award-winners




E-Mail this Story to a Friend
Print this Story
Will Durst
Raging Moderate
February 22, 2012 | 1,529 views | Post a comment

Don’t mean to overreact and risk boosting everybody’s blood pressure higher than opening offers on Facebook’s upcoming IPO, but this might be a halfway decent time to seek out a nice, safe, steel bunker to hunker down in or behind, because it’s awards season and heavy-metal statuettes are being tossed around like dimes at a county fair.

Like the flurry of resumés from the outer office of Michele Bachmann’s inner circle. As plentiful as the doubts currently circling Mitt Romney’s Super PAC. We’ve already been treated to the golden-plated spectacle of the Grammys, BAFTAs, Golden Globes, People’s Choice Awards, Machine Tool Diamond Awards, Screen Actor Guild Awards, and what with the Emmys, Oscars, and CMAs right around the corner, this might be the perfect opportunity to weigh in with the most consequential of them all: the 2012 Political Animal Awards. Note: No tuxes have been bruised in the creation of these awards.

Best Costume: Rick Santorum for that winning period look -- subtly harkening back to a young Mr. Rogers with rabies.

Bad Timing Award: Tim Pawlenty, for deserting the presidential line-up before getting his own shot at leading the pack. Runner-up: Mitch Daniels.

Unclear on the Concept Award: Herman Cain, for continuing to blame the media for finding his fan full of feces.

The Dumber Than He Already Looks Award: In an extremely competitive field, Rick Perry.

The Not as Dumb as His Hair Looks Award: For the sixth consecutive year, Donald Trump.

The Claude Raines Invisible Man Award: George W. Bush.

Best Supporting Actress: In a thankless role, Callista Gingrich.

The We Can’t Find a Muzzle Big Enough Award: Joe Biden. May have to retire this award in his name.

Best Score: Whoever bought Apple at 8.

The Why Won’t Anyone Return My Calls Award: Democratic Division: John Edwards. John Kerry. Anthony Weiner.

The Why Won’t Anyone Return My Calls Award: Republican Division: Dick Cheney. Pat Robertson. Glenn Beck.

Best Special Effects: Industrial Light & Magic for making Mitt Romney appear so lifelike.

Best Makeup: Newt Gingrich for his very convincing Walking Dead grimace.

Best Choreography: Grover Norquist.

The “Oh My God, Not You Again” Award: Whoever decided contraception made for a good election-year wedge issue.

Best Boy: Marcus Bachmann.

Best Animation: Chris Christie.

The Other Mormon Meat Award: Jon Huntsman.

Best Newcomer: Paul Ryan for his highly controversial script, “Roadmap for America’s Future.”

The Lucky It Wasn’t Bitten Off Award: Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer.

Mensa’s Smartest Move of the Year: In a huge upset, Sarah Palin picks this one up for refusing to accept another supporting role.

The How Can We Miss You If You Won’t Go Away Award: Ron Paul.

Best Ensemble in a Musical or Comedy: The entire Republican Party Presidential Nomination cast.

Best Actor: Body of work award goes to Speaker of the House John Boehner for various portrayals as outraged defender of fiscal responsibility, obstinate party stalwart, and sophisticated gentleman to whom gracious cooperation is of the highest priority, and doing it all while orange.

Best Direction: The Koch Brothers.

Misdirection Award: Newt Gingrich for his moon-base proposal. Always knew his full ambitions could never be contained by Planet Earth.

Comeback of the Year Award: The U.S. economy.

The Better To Be Lucky Than Good Award: Barack Obama.

Copyright ©2012, Will Durst, distributed by the Cagle Cartoons Inc. syndicate. Call Cari Dawson-Bartley at 800-696-7561 or e-mail cari@cagle.com. Durst is a political comedian who has performed around the world. Email him at durst@caglecartoons.com. Check out willandwillie.com for the latest podcast. Durst’s book, The All-American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing, is available from Amazon and better bookstores.
 

Your Opinions and Comments


Be the first to comment on this story!


You must be logged in to post a comment.




Not a subscriber?
Subscriber, but no password?
Forgot password?

Section A: General News Archives


Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Agencies nab 7 in human-trafficking sting (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Apply now for Miss La Vernia Pageant (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Behind the lens: Hitting the trail (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. BPA students advance to state (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Bud Box ends two-decade career at alternative school (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Chamber to hold monthly luncheon (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. China Grove mayor, police chief clash (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Commissioners amend Kicaster-area fire coverage plan (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Court Update (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Dating and the budget (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Donate blood to save lives (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Editorial: It’s about ‘We the People’ … what will ‘we’ do? (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Editorial: National election: Iowa down, New Hampshire to go (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Firefighters plan Pancake Breakfast (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Floresville mayor to councilman: Sit down or else (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Floresville park’s erosion problems prompt action (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Free heart health screenings (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. H-E-B ice cream recall (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. La Vernia trustees consider $33.2M bond, approve new finance chief (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Lean meat still part of a heart-healthy diet (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: House fire victim extends gratitude (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Pastors should keep out of politics, stay in church (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Unruly government needs discipline (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Writer says it’s okay to ignore the charter (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Meeting Watch: Evergreen Underground Water Conservation District (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Meeting Watch: Floresville Planning & Zoning Commission (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Meeting Watch: St. Hedwig City Council (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Oil, gas leasing workshop Feb. 22 (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. One-stop tax shop? (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Petition supporters plan protest rally (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Police Blotter (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Presidents’ Day office closures (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Register for Great American Cleanup (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Save the date for ‘Hope in High Cotton’ (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Should Christians support sanctuary for illegal aliens? (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Stockdale supports apartment venture (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Things are looking up in downtown Stockdale (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. ‘Official oppression’ or ‘criminal trespass’? (February 10, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Agencies uncover $400K in stolen vehicles, parts (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. China Grove begins vote on tax rollback (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Clock running out for Floresville recall issue (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Connally expands high-tech health care (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Council action changes boards (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Court Update (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Deputies charge Floresville spurned lover with arson (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Deputies investigate recent thefts (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Editorial: The demand for villains (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Editorial: What’s in a city charter? Is it like a … Constitution? (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Eight-liner opponents face deadline (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. FELPS pools tornado damage claim with city, Floresville ISD (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Floresville USDA accountant resigns (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Free CERT disaster course (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Get a free heart health screening in Kenedy Feb. 12 (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Greater LV Chamber to meet (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. H-E-B recalls cookware (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Hold on for now (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. It’s all happening at Nixon-Smiley Elementary (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Kicaster area will have fire coverage (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Landfill welcomes China Grove junk (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Apple Pie author extends thanks (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Gonzales differs with writer’s conclusion (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Letter: Talamantez truly a man of the people (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Life Line Screening event set in Floresville Feb. 28 (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Mock Republican Debate Feb. 20 (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Nixon-Smiley livestock show set for March (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. One dead in game-room robbery (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Pioneer Award honors Burnside (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Pirates Cove in Poth offers after-school care service (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Police Blotter (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Save the date for Lincoln Dinner (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. School district cops ink deal with city, county (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Second responders to meet (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Stockdale, La Vernia units respond to back-to-back fires (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Tanneberger is top agent (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Weigh in on Loop 410 changes (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. Wilson County Hermann Sons lodges meet new-member goal (February 3, 2016)
Full article available to Wilson County News subscribers only. Click here to subscribe. ‘Loving’ heart-shaped treats are for the birds (February 3, 2016)