If you’re in a pickup traveling at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why isn’t “phonetic” spelled the way it sounds? Why is it when you transport something by car or truck it’s called a shipment, but when something is moved by ship it’s called cargo? If a cow started laughing uncontrollably, would milk come out her nose? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped the cat from a height, what would happen? Could the world get any more confusing?
It seems our young people are constantly being bombarded with “cultural changes” at the speed of light, and the longer I live, the more oxymorons I have to deal with. No, an oxymoron is not a hyperventilating fool, although I think in the midst of the humanitarian invasion upon the private citizenry of this country, an additional meaning of sorts could possibly be applied to the actions of some people today. An oxymoron is a figure of speech combining contradictory words. For example: act naturally; bittersweet; calm wind; constant variable; deafening silence; extinct life; found missing; freezer burn; guest host; half naked; larger half; plastic silverware; pretty ugly; real potential; paid volunteer; working vacation; liquid gas; little giants; least favorite; minor miracle; almost exactly; clearly misunderstood; even odds; good grief; and my all-time favorite -- government organization. There are hundreds more in our “my way” vocabulary mold, but there just isn’t room for any more today. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
The kindergarten class settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher’s desk and said, “I ain’t got no crayons.” “Willie,” the teacher said, “you mean, ‘I don’t have any crayons; you don’t have any crayons; we don’t have any crayons; they don’t have any crayons.’ Do you see what I’m getting at?” “Not really,” replied Willie. “Say, what happened to all them crayons?”
The teacher of the Earth Science class was lecturing on map reading. He spent the class time explaining about longitude and latitude, degrees and minutes. “Suppose I ask you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes longitude. Where would we be eating lunch?” A student’s voice broke the confused silence, “I guess you’d be eating alone, sir.”
[Ecclesiastes 2] Solomon, the teacher, wanted it all, tried it all, experienced it all, and had it all. In the midst of it all, he never lost his wisdom, which he recorded in the book of Proverbs. I think mankind is losing all sense of wisdom in his daily affairs. The pleasures and follies that are satisfying man today are ever-widening the chasm between man and God, which will eventually become an abyss that can no longer be bridged. The “innocent lie” has full-blown blossomed and flowered into a lifestyle of complete contrast to the will of God for His creation. Wisdom will continue to decline and lawlessness will continue to bloom. Even the Lord’s church is suffering as the world is being forced into the pews and the pulpit. It’s like forcing a square peg into a round hole. Hammer on it all you want, you can’t change the Word of God, or the church, to fit your personal preferences, without chiseling away at the precepts of God’s wisdom. Solomon says wisdom, knowledge, and happiness come from God and it is given to those who please God. It’s all meaningless without the wisdom of God.
Thomas W. Bonham is an associate minister with the Floresville Church of Christ. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Find his column on his blog at http://wilsoncountynews.com.
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