You’ve been granted free access to this subscribers only article.
I’m a single mom with three young children. I quit my nursing job a few years ago to be a stay-at-home mom, and one year later my husband filed for divorce. The state isn’t keeping him accountable for child support, but now I qualify for food stamps. Do you feel it’s morally wrong to be on government assistance?
There’s nothing morally wrong with receiving food stamps, as long as you’re not lying about your income or situation in order to receive them. The biggest problem with food stamps, and other forms of government assistance, is many times a person becomes dependent on someone else to take care of them. I don’t want you and your kids to develop a victim mentality and become trapped in a cycle of substandard living.
You said you were a nurse before you came home to be with the kids, right? I’d suggest updating your nursing certification, if necessary, and going back to work in your field -- maybe even as an emergency room nurse. I know the hours can be weird, but the pay is great. It would really get your income rolling again, plus you could afford to pay someone to look after the kids when necessary.
You’ve been through a lot, Rebecca. Life has knocked you around lately, so it’s okay if you need to take food stamps for a little while. But I’d encourage you to start thinking from a long-term perspective as to what it’ll take to move forward and generate a good, livable income for you and your kids. Get into attack mode, take your nursing degree, intelligence, and experience, and create a quality life for your family. I know you can do it!
I made a huge mistake and allowed my sister to use my credit card. She said she’d pay back what she charged, but now she won’t pay the bill. The total was $5,500. Do you have any advice?
I’m afraid I don’t have anything to give you that will make your sister grow some integrity and character. I used to tell my kids when they were younger not to bust the trust, because that kind of thing is very hard to put back together.
I’d be pretty upset about this too. Still, obsessing over it isn’t going to solve anything. And really, when it comes right down to it, you opened the door for this to happen. You really have no one to blame but yourself.
If it were me, I’d do whatever it took to pay this off quickly. Put in additional hours at your job or find some part-time work at night and on weekends for a few months. Somewhere along the line I’d also leave my sister a message saying I know she’s not going to pay this, but that everything is forgiven.
I call something like this “paying your stupid tax,” and it’s something that all of us have had to pay at one time or another. Learn from the experience, Marie. Loaning money to family or friends can damage the relationship. Keep in mind, too, that she’s probably going to come back around wanting money at some point again. But I’m guessing you won’t make the same mistake twice, will you? The First National Bank of Marie is closed!
Dave Ramsey is a best-selling author of The Total Money Makeover and the nationally syndicated host of “The Dave Ramsey Show,” which airs locally on radio station 550 KTSA. View column archives at www.daveramsey.org. Questioners’ identities have not been verified by the Dave $ays column or this newspaper.
Your Opinions and Comments
Be the first to comment on this story!
You must be logged in to post a comment.
South Texas Living Archives
(NOT May 30!) Let your imagination take shape June 30 (May 25, 2016)
Canine care helps heal community’s most vulnerable (May 25, 2016)
Divine healing training June 2-4 (May 25, 2016)
Future collectibles (May 25, 2016)
Getting past a stroke (May 25, 2016)
Musical Club tours Helmke home (May 25, 2016)
Ousley fund-raiser May 28 (May 25, 2016)
Picnic and memorial service (May 25, 2016)
Save the date for June 2 Opry Jam (May 25, 2016)
Small town, big hearts (May 25, 2016)
The stuff of which sausage is made (May 25, 2016)
Unwind, de-stress with coffee and crayons (May 25, 2016)
What you can do to prevent asthma (May 25, 2016)
Witness live wrestling at Retama Park (May 25, 2016)
Attend the 38th annual Bluebonnet Fest Parade May 21 (May 18, 2016)
Baptist church plans Men’s, Women’s Day (May 18, 2016)
Cocktail dress (May 18, 2016)
Desperate search for old photo reveals city’s lack of memorabilia (May 18, 2016)
Learn about gardening practices (May 18, 2016)
Play golf for Peanut Festival (May 18, 2016)
Setting forth in search of froth (May 18, 2016)
Sign up for Summer Reading! (May 18, 2016)
Sutherland Springs bank bandits sentenced (May 18, 2016)
Tickets on sale for June 21 Taste of Seguin (May 18, 2016)
Boldtville Church Yard Sale is May 14 (May 11, 2016)
Create interactive games, stories with Scratch (May 11, 2016)
Enter 2017 Fiesta Poster Contest (May 11, 2016)
Extraordinary minds teaching our kids (May 11, 2016)
Healing ADD without medication (May 11, 2016)
Luffa vase (May 11, 2016)
May means dancing in Geronimo (May 11, 2016)
Meet the Miss La Vernia contestants (May 11, 2016)
Resurrection UMC plans Fun Fest (May 11, 2016)
Spring comes to Blue Bonnet Club (May 11, 2016)
Swing dance in Seguin (May 11, 2016)
Tracking down a little history in Hobson (May 11, 2016)
Union Valley meeting set (May 11, 2016)
Basketball tournament May 14 (May 4, 2016)
Boy Scout celebration stirs up memories (May 4, 2016)
British Royals (May 4, 2016)
Celebrating decades of memories and music with the‘Texas Top Hands’ (May 4, 2016)
Create a yard with bird appeal (May 4, 2016)
Cruise into Floresville for Lions Car Show (May 4, 2016)
Find cheap books at Sidewalk Sale (May 4, 2016)
Hear six pianos in one room May 7 (May 4, 2016)
Hermann Sons Casino Night to benefit CASA (May 4, 2016)
Road Runners plan May group runs (May 4, 2016)
‘Battle for Texas’ now open in SA (May 4, 2016)
‘Lily pads’ for kids (May 4, 2016)