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Musings from Behind the Couch

Musings from Grimm: Bubba, Part II

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H.R. Grimm is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or

August 14, 2015 | 1,160 views | 1 comment

As I left the house this morning I was completely uncaffeinated.

I knew better, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. When I first got up from the couch I tried to be as quiet as I could. See, the Mrs had a rough night last night so she was sleepin' in.

My poor Beloved has moments she has Arctic Cold Fronts passin' through her, then it's like her internal blast furnace fires up in rebellion. This all leaves her exhausted and I learned the hard way to just let somethings be.

It's safer that way. Some idiot called women "The weaker sex", ha! He'd evidently never seen a woman in full "Power Surge". Shoot, we had chickens once and I saw her in full "Power Surge"! She'd got up outta bed, went out where the rooster was crowing, ring his head off, pluck him, quarter him, fried him up and it he'd only got out 'bout half his mornin's announcement done. She then proceeded to wash the windows, washed the walls with Murphy's Soap, swept the floor, dusted the furniture, made the beds, did the laundry! It was all I could do to stay outta her way when she's like that.

Made the mistake once asking her if she was alright. She just looked at me where loving eyes had been and the most sinister glare seemed to go right through me. She said, "I'M FINE!" I didn't really think she was but something inside my head flashed to how she treated our rooster.

So, I knew better than to wake her, got up and got out 'fore another front went through.

As I tip-toed out the house on my way over to the Busy Breakfast Bar here in La Vernia I hadn't even shut the door when I heard, "There he is." 'Bout jumped outta my skin!

'Course, I looked around and 'tweren't a soul there. I took a few steps and heard, "Yeah, we see him!" By this time, I'm twistin' my head lookin' and thinkin' it's gotta be my neighbor Bubba Brewski, but he's still in the hospital. Then another voice said, "Kinda big one, ain't he?"

"Enough already!" I yelled, then 'fraid I'd wake the Mrs, looked all 'round me again. I made a quick dash to the corner. Didn't see nobody but something caught my eye and looked up and saw 'em hanging above my head spaced out along the front of our house. They just sat there lookin' at me. 'Bout five, counted and I felt my whole body crawling!

Now, I ain't saying Texas is the only place with big spiders, but when they start talking 'bout you they're TOO BIG!

Sure hope the Mrs cleaned out from under and behind the couch. I know they're waiting for me there too. (hrg)
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Senior Citizen  
Wilson County  
August 15, 2015 9:27pm
Everything is bigger in Texas, but there is such a thing as "too big" when it comes to a spider. Can be hazardous to your health!

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