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Musings from Behind the Couch

Grimm's Musings: What we're really thinking, Part II

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H.R. Grimm is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or

October 19, 2015 | 891 views | Post a comment

"If you think what you always thought, then you'll feel what you always felt. You'll do what you always did and be what you've always been" (Author unknown)

Last time I talked about how sometimes we have unresolved issues (sore spots or emotional triggers) that we may not even be aware of that flares up within us (emotional land mines). These can effect how we interact in our relationships and we may literally hate how we are because of these. This, in turn, complicates our inner talk....

Some people are just too bull headed to see how these are affecting their relationships and life choices. The result is that they fail to see that there is a common denominator in their life. Relationships end and instead of looking within, they blame the other person. It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist to see patterns of behavior or repeated personality types that a person is drawn toward. Say for example, you are from an alcoholic home. You may swear up and down you will never be in another home like that. Yet, you find "the one" and for a while things are "perfect" but then it begins to fall apart. You or the other person may self-sabotage the happiness you were experiencing. Almost like one of you couldn't stand the "perfectness" and since there was the undercurrent sense that it as too-good-to-be-true, it self destructs. An analysis may find that you are attracted to the same type of person in one way or another in every relationship you have been in. You may not understand the reason. It may be that even though you swore you'd never be in a relationship like the one you grew up in, being around this type of person actually feels "familiar", predictable, like being "home".

Back in the day, I had someone who I was helping gain insights to improve their life. As we started our time together I merely asked how their weekend had been. This person stated that it had been a good one but then said they had run into a certain individual. For the next 15 minutes they went into details of how this person offended them and left no uncertainty how they felt about this person or what judgment they felt was appropriate. Then the person said, "But it doesn't bother me anymore." I looked at this person sitting in my office and asked, "Do you remember the question I asked you?" He said, "Yeah. You asked me how my weekend was." Then I merely pointed out that they spent 15 minutes telling me in detail about a certain person, how they offended them but finally said, "But it doesn't bother me anymore." The man said thoughtfully, "I guess it still bothers me, doesn't it?"

We were created to be thinking individuals, empowered with the ability to properly process events. It isn't like some "mind over matter" but actually knowing what to do with the past, prepare for the future and to enjoy the present. I believe in the possibility of happiness, but it takes some seriously deep honesty and, forgive me for referring to something from 12 Steps, calling upon a Higher Power (just to humor those of you who need your daily does of "PC"). Call me simple minded, but I actually hold to that which can set a person free, make them "new", bring about a defrosting, a reigniting, a healing, a reprogramming of the mind and an improvement in life. The Bible invites us to Christ not merely for some "pie in the sky in the sweet bye and bye" but a help now! The Apostle Paul wrote, “ all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us"‬ Romans‬ ‭8:37 ‭(NIV‬). Another scripture that quickly comes to my own mind encourages us deal with an improper mindset. Romans 12:1-2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭(NASB‬‬).

Yep, I am talking about taking personal responsibility for the proper use of that 40 Watt computer between your ears and allow Christ to take control of what you THINK, to realize your own EMOTIONS, recognize and improve your MOOD and actually improve your own BEHAVIOR (and life choices). If this was to actually happen, instead of being emotionally lead without realizing it we might see a brighter future. I just wonder if Christ knew this when He taught those early Disciples what has become known as The Lord's Prayer, ““This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ’ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:9-15‬ ‭(NIV).‬‬

Otherwise, we are left to struggle on our own. Left to a Government telling us what is right and wrong. Left to a culture that is fickle at best and all that Political Correctness has created is a bunch of overly sensitivity people with no hope in sight. Christ didn't come to Earth to be conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, to live a sinless life, to die on a Cross as a sacrifice for sin, to defeat death, hell and the grave, to ascend to sit on the right hand of the Heavenly Father where He is interceding for us while we remain the way we were when He found us! Christ wants to be involved in our life choices so we can have improved lives.

Now THINK about it: What do you get for what you do and what are you willing to give up to gain what you really want? (hrg)
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