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Musings from Behind the Couch

Grimm's Musings: Rituals

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H.R. Grimm is responsible for this content, which is not edited by the Wilson County News or

November 2, 2015 | 1,095 views | Post a comment

The obvious heat of summer has left us and with it the rituals of longer days and hotter weather activities. The coolness of the mornings along with increased displays of various colorful bags of candies at each store tell us Autumn has arrived and with it a new set of rituals.

Many households now are returning to the predawn morning ritual of prying sleepy teenagers from their beds who refuse to rise, dress and eat as parents dash about madly screaming orders of impending doom and threats of lateness. Some parents blurry-eyed drive their bundle of joy to school while others gleefully watch their offspring enter large yellow buses which traverse thoroughfares taking half-awake passengers to sacred halls of learning. In these thick-walled brick and mortared fortress of learning society prays that skilled magicians can mystically transform these oozing hormone charge creatures into disciplined, educated, respectable, responsible, self governing persons to maintain civilization in the near future. Too many will drive past places of worship never darkening the door all the while blaming God for allowing civilization to deteriorate into a dangerous and godless war zone.

Each home will have aging men ritually plopping in front of large screen televisions reliving their youthful exploits of game-saving athletic feats as they turn into easy chair skilled quarterbacks and coaches cheering and cursing their favorite teams. Many men will find themselves honoring the yearly ritual of growing facial hair to somehow capture the sense of the rugged wilderness living past in American history, envisioning themselves as pioneers who's families depend upon them bringing home meat shot and field dressed on which their family will stave off hunger. Women will begin preparing for large social gatherings with sugar laden sweets by pulling out thick, heavy recipe books, heavier clothing and the feeding of their expanding waist lined beer-bellied men glued to the TV watching football and foraging through the pantry like hibernating bears. This is that time of year when the WOMAN makes her man feel like he is the King of the castle and prepares fat gram heavy calorie morsels that will lead him to coronary attacks and possibly an early death. These morsels she will set before her man and fill large containers for him to find knowing full well that with the right planning she can outlive him by an average of seven years.

Here in the South we will tell stories of our upbringing or of relatives up North where the leaves change into many colors and fall from the trees covering the landscape. We will tell of a cultural lawn dance that is preformed this time of year. Some family members are forced into participating but it is necessary to show family unity. Each member is given a long handled contraption with flexible tongs or given a loud blowing contraption. Together they will do a side-to-side step as they rhythmically sway back and forth dancing the leaves into large bags. Once these bags are filled with the prized colorful leaves they are carried or dragged to the street to be whisked away to mountainous landfills. No one knows when this ritual dance was started but it will be repeated numerous times before the snow falls.

There are many other rituals that we each participate. There is the ritual of Thanksgiving travels or guests. The Christmas Party attending ritual. And the list goes on. Some will say that as soon as the holidays are over they are going on the diet ritual which is a ritual nobody should attempt from Halloween thru Valentine's Day. (hrg)
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