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Wilson County News • 1012 C St • Floresville • TX • 78114 • Ph: 830-216-4519 • Fax: 830-393-3219 • Email:
Wednesday, Aug 20, 2014
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Splay Morass  
Texas 1880  
March 4 at 8:41pm
 
Update: As of 8:10 PM the election judges have reported receiving multiple telegrams from field poll locations indicating 2 points of information: the first is to expect tens of hundreds of ballots; the second being that the ballots are now traversing the county via horse and carriage.

The election judges, however, are taking this news with gusto as additional abacuses have been acquired in light of the previous elections. Reports are out that Wilson County has now acquired 3 of these devices and is in the process of acquiring a fourth.

Also, as I am told, the county has purchased a little-known and experimental device know to you rubes as a fax machine. This little bugger has the ability to transmit 56 Kbps of information straight to the news who, in turn, transmit it to you people. Such a blessing to live in a technologically-progressive county.

As more information becomes available, it will be decemited amongst the masses. In the meantime, have grandma clean the bifocals and grandpa spike the coffee with some of his Beam he's hiding from grandma... This is sure to be a nail-biter of a long night!
     
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